The Top 15 Other Ways to Tell When Spring is Coming


15> Joey Buttafuoco's plummage becomes more colorful and Heidi 
    Fleiss' buttocks become red and enlarged.

14> Jenny McCarthy switches from fur bikini to string bikini.

13> Your cat rolls surface-to-air missiles into position against 
    mockingbirds.

12> The year's first appearance of the Dallas Cowboys before a 
    grand jury.

11> Minneapolis weather forecast downgraded from "really friggin'
    cold" to "extremely cold."

10> Rush Limbaugh takes off the wool flag and wraps himself in a 
    cotton one.

 9> Seasonally correct Dennis Rodman switches back to white 
    pumps and gloves.

 8> A warm, gentle funnel cloud picks up the first Tulsa 
    double-wide of the season and drops it near Wichita.

 7> TV's Ellen comes out of the closet and doesn't see her shadow.

 6> A young man's fancy turns to compulsion to hump everything in 
    sight.

 5> All across America -- single women start shaving their legs 
    again.

 4> AOL members who joined in December are finally able to get a 
    connection.

 3> If Darryl Strawberry stumbles out of a bar and scratches 
    himself, we got us an early spring training.

 2> NRA offers reward for carcass of first robin.


 and the Number 1 Other Way to Tell When Spring is Coming...


 1> Soup of the Day: Groundhog Stew